Just Say No!! (to social media)

If you are old enough to have been able to enjoy life before social media and before the internet you’ll know that life as we knew it back then is virtually non-existent in the techno wired world we live in today. Rarely do people call their friends on the phone anymore. Interpersonal communication in real time has faded away and has been replaced by texting, emoji’s and an unending slew of acronyms lol, ttyl, ty, irl, and so many more. Apparently typing out ‘thank you’ is too much of an inconvenience.

Online living has birthed countless television shows, one of which I only recently discovered, the TV show Catfish. Now without sounding too old, I used to think that catfish was just a real fish we’d eat battered and fried and served with coleslaw and french fries. I can remember when apple and blackberry were just fruits. The show Catfish boggles my mind. In nearly every case on the show there are people who fall for one scamming person or another. It usually starts with, ‘Dear Nev and Max, or Kamie, I’ve been in a relationship with so-and-so for five years…’ or a similar plea. News flash, you cannot be in a real relationship and be in love with someone you have never met or even seen or spoken to! You can never know who you are really texting with. These victims rarely speak on the phone, so how can you claim to be in love with that which you have never met, talked to or even seen? There would always be doubt as to whether or not the person is real and you can never be 100% sure in online interactions who you are dealing with. That’s a fact. So how can you claim to be in love when you never know for sure who it is? You cannot. It is wishful thinking at best and just utter ignorance and stupidity in reality. The internet and social media has mislabeled and incorrectly allowed for the redefining of relationships and love. 

Another observation about Catfish. Most people know that there is a TV show called Catfish and they know what catfishing is. It amazes me that people STILL fall for these catfishing scams knowing full well what catfishing is and that there is even a TV show called Catfish!! The ignorance and even stupidity of these people to engage in online interactions for YEARS, often sending the catfisher (still not sure if the victim or the perpetrator is the catfish) money, sometimes thousands of dollars! How stupid do you have to be to fall for this? Sometimes I do feel a bit sorry for the victims, but mostly I just smirk and say, if you’re going to be stupid, it’s kinda your own fault! My fiancé laughs when I watch Catfish, but he humors me because, that’s entertainment! I will admit that I do like Nev, Max and Kamie (Kamie is my favorite!).

Years ago, I’m talking waaaay back in the 1970’s, we had something called ‘pen pals’. It was something we did in school where an international pen pal organization had students write letters to people in other countries. Yes, once upon a time people actually wrote letters to other people, it’s a shocker I’m sure, but it’s absolutely true!

By doing this we learned how to write (properly), we learned about other cultures and people, and sometimes we even met our pen pals. It was a wonderful experience. But never did I think I was in love with someone simply because we exchanged a few letters. People today have confused what a real relationship is. They are so engrossed in their online lives and the fantasy world around it that they confuse online interactions with being in a real relationship. If you translate that to the real world, I guess I’m in an intense relationship with the person at Dunkin’ Bucks that’s been making my double mocha-choca-laka-waka-frappa-dappa-do-ding-dong for the past three years. But alas, I am not. Just because they write my name on the cup and smile at me (not like they’re vying for a tip or anything) doesn’t mean squat.

I’m not going to sit here and say all tech is bad, but a lot of it is, or rather, how it is allowed to be used and abused. Way back when the internet first came out and the decision to allow it to be all but unregulated, a few of my like-minded friends and I used to talk about how the anonymity of the internet can and will someday bite society in its proverbial ass. And guess what?? Do I really need to say that the chickens have come home to roost?

Anonymity in most forms is bad. Anonymous letters threatening someone, phone calls, jeers. There are very few times in the social stratosphere where anonymity is a good thing. Hiding behind an anonymous and unverified user name can breed hate, bullying, harassment, stalking, threats and retaliation. I believe and have always said that every use of the internet should only be allowed through verified accounts and users. If you post online, it’s only as you, using your legal name, period. But no, as we all know that is not what the internet is. 

Personally, I refuse to take part in any form of social media like Facebook, Tik Tok, Instagram and all the others. Now, before some misguided reader tries to contact me and say, but Jackie, you are posting your article on your website, isn’t that social media? Why no Virginia, this is not social media. (10 bonus points if you get what the ‘no Virginia’ is referencing.) My website isn’t a network for users to interact with each other and post comments or videos or engage in chat or any other type of interactions with each other. The only person here that is allowed to post anything is me, period. My website is more akin to an autocracy or even a dictatorship. I alone decide what is posted here. I alone decide if anyone can comment on an article. I alone decide if any article can be reposted etc. That is not social media at all. 

Now, just because I choose not to take part in social media doesn’t mean I’m unfamiliar with it. I never dismiss something out of hand without at least checking it out. I’ve checked out Myspace back in the day, Facebook and Instagram. I have tried to see the value, the benefit or gain in posting something to say, ‘look at me, don’t you like or agree with what I’m saying?’ I find the whole experience rather vain. Who absolutely NEEDS to be on social media? No one. There’s no life-saving discourse taking place between friends on Facebook. I’m yet to hear of any scientific breakthrough discovered by posting a pic of your dog in a tutu and it taking a crap in your backyard. I’m sorry, it’s just not going to happen. Social media is about one thing, being noticed, look at me. One look at the proliferation of wannabe models, actors or stupid pet tricks that plague the internet bears that as absolutely true.

I’ve had people tell me Facebook is essential for them to keep in touch with family or friends, to which I simply and correctly state, ‘pick up the phone and make a phone call you dolt!’ Technology breeds laziness for sure. I used to be forced to pick up a heavy handset and cradle it to my ear while I used my index finger to painfully dial each digit on a rotary telephone. And the anguish if I screwed up and let my finger slip on the very last digit requiring me to hang up and start the whole traumatic ordeal all over again. The horror!! Today people get mad if they have to input a phone number not in their contacts list. I can also remember party lines, but I’m quite certain if I discuss what that is, some millennial’s head will explode!

Today I still get those who give me a nasty glare or sideways glance when I say I refuse to do social media. Friends tell me to just do it anonymously so I can follow their super-fun-time-A-number-one-oh-so-important posts. To which I just laugh and shrug off. I don’t want to read your inane ramblings or see a pic of you drunk dancing at a bar or how your home project turned out, you’re not Tim “the tool man” Taylor! And I really don’t want to get IM’s from you complaining that I haven’t liked your post that you just made five minutes ago. Get over yourself! The vanity of social media is appalling. The thing that amuses me is, most people can’t even see it. What makes you think that your post is so effin worthy to share with the world population of 7.9 billion people? Are you telling me that your pic or post is that important? I don’t care how funny, smart or attractive you or your post is, I think that I’d just feel dirty after spending time on social media and have to shower to scrub the filth from my body and my brain. Not to mention I’d probably be seeing my therapist twice as often as I already do!

As I write this I am watching the news and the CEO’s of social media companies hauled before Congress to explain themselves and the effects of social media on children. If nothing else, at least I can wrap this article in the banner of a PSA, something I dare say those Facebook posts do not do. There are the harmful effects that social media has on people, not just children. Harassment, bullying, stalking, suicide, illegal trafficking just to name a few. I watched a program about illegal human organ trade where they get their organs from Facebook, obviously in some form of coded or secret way. I’ve had my life threatened via the internet just for being me or because of some of the articles I write. Of course they are all anonymous. Anonymity on the internet is only one thing…bad!!

I am proud to be a member of the elite 5% of the world population who refuses to engage with social media. We are the few, the proud, the non-conforming minority who, despite the constant and nauseating presence of social media and the vain perpetrators who bombard the world with their self-indulgent promotion, stand tall and free of the suffocating grip of social media that the 95%ers run towards with ignorant glee and open arms. I think it’s time to, Just Say No to social media! Nancy Reagan would be proud.

Anyway, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong. That’s the news and I am outta here!! (10 more bonus points if you can correctly guess this reference. No Googling!)